MARRIED OR NOT, YOU SHOULD READ THIS ...
“When I got home that night as
my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you.
She s
at down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her
eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her
know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She
didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly,
why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the
chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to
each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to
our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my
heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep
sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own
our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore
it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become
a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could
not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried
loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was
actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for
several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came
back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have
supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired
after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the
table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep
again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t
want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She
requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as
possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and
she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was
agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had
carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every
day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door
ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together
bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife’s divorce
conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what
tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My
wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly
expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy.
Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought
me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I
walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly;
don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put
her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone
to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She
leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I
hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not
young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our
marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to
her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy
returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the
fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I
didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped
by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what
to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a
suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly
realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her
more easily.
Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and
bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her
head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom
out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential
part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him
tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at
this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through
the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and
naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But
her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms
I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and
said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped
out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would
make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to
her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me,
astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved
her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was
boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not
because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried
her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us
apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed
the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral
shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked
me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every
morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in
my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed
-dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane
to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from
the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the
divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….
The
small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not
the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an
environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in
themselves.
So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little
things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy
marriage!
If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.
If
you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who
did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.