AD SENSE

Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts

Job Interview - Sikh Joke

Sardarji (Sikh origin from India) left his job in Patiala, emigrated to Canada for better prospects and applied for a salesman's job at Vancouver's premier downtown department store. It was the biggest store in the world: you could get anything there.

Weekend Humor: Burial for the Dog

A dog 🐕 died and the owner took it to a pastor. He asked the pastor if he could organise a funeral service for the dead animal.

Chinese Doctor and American Lawyer

A Chinese Doctor can't find a job in a Hospital in the US, so he opens a clinic and puts a sign outside 'GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100.' An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic. Lawyer: "I have lost my sense of taste." Chinese: "Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth." Lawyer: "Ugh. this is kerosene."

HR Manager in Heaven!!!


One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was greeted by God himself.

"Welcome to Heaven," said God. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," said the woman.


Man on a Harley and God and Woman - Just for a laugh

A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said, 'because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'

The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.'

A fleeing Taliban terrorist - It's only a joke!!!


A fleeing Taliban terrorist, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance.
 

Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the mirage, only to find a  very frail little old Jewish man standing at a small makeshift display rack - selling ties.

The Taliban terrorist asked, "Do you have water?"

The Four Cats-Humor

The Four Cats

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.
The first man was an Engineer,
the second man was an Accountant,
the third man was a Chemist,,,,,,and
the fourth man was a Government Employee.
To show off, the Engineer called his cat,
"T-square, do your stuff."

The Two Lions-Joke by Goa CM

Joke told by Manohar Parrikar -CM of Goa at Pan IIT Meet in Pune......
 
 
Two lions escape from a zoo. One of the lions had been captured from the jungle, so he runs back to the jungle. The other was born in the zoo itself - so is basically a city-slicker. He vanishes into the city.
 
Three days later the jungle-lion is recaptured - and returned to the zoo. A month passes, then two, three..... but city-lion is not traceable! Finally, after six months the city-lion is also recaptured and brought back to the zoo. Jungle-lion is amazed to see his friend.
 
Jungle-lion: For God's sake, how were you able to evade these guys for 6 whole months?!
 
City-lion: Kuchh nahi yaar! I just went to a government department, and hid behind a huge pile of dusty files that they have there.
 
Jungle-lion: But what did you eat there?
 
City-lion: Arrey, there was an unlimited supply of government servants. Whenever I ate one, they hired five more. Nobody did any work anyway, so nobody missed the ones I ate.
 
Jungle-lion: Wow! But, then how did you get caught?
 
City-lion: Galti kar gaya yaar... On the last day I ate the chai-walla. Now, everyone missed their chai-walla & their chai! They launched a massive hunt. And I got caught!

An Irish Joke for the Day!

An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church.
He is amazed to find a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.
Then the priest comes in.
Excitedly, the Irishman begins..."Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be."
The priest replies, "Get out. You're on my side!"

Scottish Humour

Scottish Jokes
Jock & Jimmy were walking along a street in London.
Jock looked in one of the shop windows and saw a sign that caught his eye.
The sign read, "Suits £5.00 each, Shirts £2.00 each, trousers £2.50 per pair".
Jock said to his pal, "Look at the prices! We could buy a whole lot of these and when we get back to Scotland we could make a fortune.


Jokes - For the Weekend

1) NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'

Jokes

1) The new pastor
A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his community. All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he knocked several times. Finally, he took out his card, wrote on the back "Revelation 3:20" and stuck it in the door. The next day, as he was counting the offering he found his card in the collection plate. Below his message was a notation "Genesis 3:10." Upon opening his Bible to the passage he let out a roar of laughter.
Revelation 3:20 reads: (Pastors note) "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If any man hear my voice, and opens the door, I will come into him, and will dine with him, and he with me."
Genesis 3:10 reads: "And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked."

Real-Life Humor - Collection

Real-Life Humor

 I had not been preaching long at a rather "staid and proper" congregation when a fellow I did not recognize came forward at the invitation. Upon questioning, I found that Earnest Ray was from "up in the hills" and he had come to church that morning to be baptized. Not only that, but he brought all of his friends and relatives with him. He said he wanted his relative to baptize him.

Sermon Humor - Collection

Sermon Humor




When my daughter was about three I took her to bed and asked what she would like to pray about. Promptly she answered: "onions." We prayed about onions and the next morning I asked why she wanted to pray about onions. "Because you said in your sermon that we should pray for things we dont like."

Pastors' Jokes - Collection

Pastors' Jokes


After the church service a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money." "Well, thank you," the pastor replied, "but why?" "Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had."