Showing posts with label Humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humour. Show all posts
Are you "UP" for it?
I'm sure you will enjoy this. One word in the English language that could be a noun, verb, adj, adv, prep is UP.
This two-letter word in English has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is 'UP'. It is listed in the dictionary as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or [v].
This two-letter word in English has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is 'UP'. It is listed in the dictionary as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or [v].
Language of the European Union
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
Phone Bill and The Maid
The phone bill was exceptionally high so the husband called a family meeting to discuss the issue.
Dad: This is unacceptable. I don't use the home phone, I use my work phone.
Mum: Me too. I hardly use our home phone. I use my company's phone.
Son: I always use my office mobile, I never touch the home phone.
All of them were shocked and together looked at the maid who was patiently listening to them.
Finally the Maid said, "What you all looking at me? So we all use our work phones. What's the big deal??
Dad: This is unacceptable. I don't use the home phone, I use my work phone.
Mum: Me too. I hardly use our home phone. I use my company's phone.
Son: I always use my office mobile, I never touch the home phone.
All of them were shocked and together looked at the maid who was patiently listening to them.
Finally the Maid said, "What you all looking at me? So we all use our work phones. What's the big deal??
Confusions & Vagaries of English Language
Six great confusions still unresolved 😄😂
1. At a movie theatre, which arm rest is yours?
1. At a movie theatre, which arm rest is yours?
Signages!!!
Clever Signages!!
😂😂😂
A sign in a shoe repair store: "We will heel you, We will save your sole,
We will even dye for you!"
😂😂😂
A sign in a shoe repair store: "We will heel you, We will save your sole,
We will even dye for you!"
A Lexophile
"Lexophile" is a term used to describe those who are clever with words, such as "you can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish" , or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless."
Help with "Hearing"
In a church one Sunday morning a preacher said,
"Anyone with 'special needs' who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front of the altar."
"Anyone with 'special needs' who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front of the altar."
A FLORIDA COURT SETS OFFICIAL ATHEIST HOLY DAY
In Florida , an atheist created a case against Easter and Passover Holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians and Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days.
The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring,
"Case dismissed!"
The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring,
"Case dismissed!"
PUNS - To Lighten up your Day
Puns
1. The meaning of opaque is unclear.
2. I wasn't going to get a brain transplant but then I changed my mind.
3. Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.
4. A man tried to assault me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy!
5. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
1. The meaning of opaque is unclear.
2. I wasn't going to get a brain transplant but then I changed my mind.
3. Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.
4. A man tried to assault me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy!
5. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
38 Creative and Unusual Beds
Collection of cool modern beds and contemporary bed designs that will look great for any bedroom . A Unique way to relax at the end of the day...
Ball Bed
Sofa/bed combo made of 80 soft and extremely comfortable balls.
Humorous Two-liners
Brevity is the
Soul of Wit 🤗
*Fresh Two-liners with some Genuine Observations*
:
🎉The difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are
wanted.
🎉Alcohol is a perfect solvent:
It dissolves marriages,
families and careers.
Equations - With Humour
Equations! - This
is the best
I have read in a LONG time !!!!
I have read in a LONG time !!!!
Equation1
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep + work
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep + work
Miscellaneous Humor
--every resource a preacher needs
On a nice sunny afternoon a preacher was walking down a dirt road when he came upon a man working in a field full of large fruits and vegies and yells to the man GREAT GARDEN!! the man wipes his face with a rag and walks over to great the preacher "Thanks a lot said the man" The preacher says yes the LORD sure did great work here . The farmer steps back and said Preacher when the lord had this field it was full of stones and sticker bushes!
The rep says, “I’m sorry sir. We can’t do that.”
The man replied: Nonsense. That is what you did last time I flew with you.
Good Fish Sold Here
Jack decided to open a new shop for selling fish. And he had a nice sign put up outside his shop which read, "Good Fish Sold Here".
A man walking by noticed the sign and suggested to him: "Obviously, you're selling fish here and not in Timbuktu. Why would you need to write "Here"? So Jack painted off "Here".
A man walking by noticed the sign and suggested to him: "Obviously, you're selling fish here and not in Timbuktu. Why would you need to write "Here"? So Jack painted off "Here".
Family Problems😰😰
Two men, an American and an Indian were sitting in a
bar and discussing about their family problems..😜
Shot after shot...
Shot after shot...
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