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A Lexophile

"Lexophile" is a term used to describe those who are clever with words, such as "you can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish" , or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless."
A competition to see who can come up with the best lexphillies is held every year in Dubuque, Iowa. The year's winning submissions:
... A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
... The batteries were given out free of charge.
... A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
... A will is a dead giveaway.
... A boiled egg is hard to beat.
... Police were called to the daycare centre, where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
.. Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
... A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
... The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully re-covered.
... He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
... When she saw her first strands of grey hair thought she'd dye.
... Acupuncture is a job well done. That's the point of it.