cartoon courtesy of www.reverendfun.com
Nothing is certain except vat and taxes?!?
My wife planned an activity for our two and one-half year old daughter during the week following Palm Sunday. After having her cut and paste brightly colored construction paper coats and palm branches on a picture of Jesus riding into Jerusalem, she spread coats in our hallway, and the three of us walked over them, shouting, "Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!" A couple of days later, we reminded Jamie that the following Sunday was Easter. "Do you know what that means?" her mother asked. "Yes!" Jamie chirped enthusiastically. "We're going to church, and Jesus is going to come and walk on our coats!"
This is a true story, told to me by a Sunday School teacher: She was teaching the children about the meaning of Good Friday and asked the group if any of them knew what happened to Jesus on that day. "Sure," piped up a little boy, "he got hammered!"
The Gravestone Message
The following caption was found written on a gravestone...
"As I am now, you soon shall be, so be content to follow me."
Then someone taped the following note on that gravestone...
"To follow you I'm not content, until I know which way you went!"
This happened a couple of Easters ago.
He comes to church once a year--always on Easter. I'm glad to have this local rancher join us in worship and I shook his hand heartily as he left the church.
"Great to worship with you today!" I said.
"Really?" he responded.
"Sure. It's always good to have you with us on Easter," I said.
He scratched his head. "Well, maybe I'd come more often if you'd preach about something different!" -- Rev. E. Marie Gasau
One Easter, a family (Mom, Dad, boy age 9) that seldom went to church, decided to go. After church the Mom said, "I thought the choir was a little off key." The Dad said, "Well, the preacher's message was bland, too." Whereupon the boy said, "I thought they put on a pretty good show for the nickel you put in the collection plate." BB-AL
Church Bulletin
Blooper:
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Jones to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Jones to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
In the Secret Service
A gentleman was in front of me coming out of church one day. The preacher grabbed him by the hand, pulled him aside and said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"
My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."
The Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"
He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service. "
