The Maker of all human beings
(GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a
serious defect in the primary and central component of the
heart.
This is due to a malfunction in
the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the
reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent
units.
This defect has been identified
as "Subsequential Internal Non-morality," more commonly known as S.I.N., as it
is primarily expressed.
Some of the symptoms
include: 1. Loss of direction 2. Foul
vocal emissions 3. Amnesia of origin 4. Lack of peace and joy 5.
Selfish or violent behavior 6. Depression or confusion 7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry 9.
Rebellion
The Manufacturer, who is neither
liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and
service free of charge to correct this
defect.
The Repair Technician, JESUS,
has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost
of these repairs. There is no additional fee
required.
The number to call for repair in
all areas is:
P-R-A-Y-E-R.
Once connected, please upload your burden
of SIN through the REPENTANCE
procedure.
Next, download ATONEMENT
from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.
No matter how big or small the SIN defect
is, Jesus will replace it with: 1. Love 2. Joy 3. Peace 4.
Patience 5. Kindness 6. Goodness 7. Faithfulness 8. Gentleness
9. Self control Please see the operating manual, the
B.I.B.L.E. (BEST Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details
on the use of these
fixes.
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit
without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to
dangers and problems too numerous to list, and will result in the human unit
being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus.
DANGER: The human being units not responding to
this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will
not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that
facility. Thank you for your attention! - GOD
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