Church Services in the not too distant Future-Humour

PASTOR: "Praise the Lord!"

CONGREGATION: "Hallelujah!"

PASTOR: "Can we please turn on our tablet, PC, iPad, cellphone, and Kindle Bibles to 1 Cor 13:13. And please switch on your Bluetooth to download the sermon. You can log on to the church Wi-fi using the password Lord909887."


"Now, Let us pray, committing this week into God's hands. Open your Apps, BBM, Twitter and Facebook and chat with God."


"As we take our Sunday tithes and offering, Please have your credit and debit cards ready."

Ushers: Circulate mobile card swipe machines among the worshipers: Those who prefer to make electronic funds transfers are directed to computers and laptops at the rear of the church. Those who prefer to use iPads flip them open.

Those who prefer telephone banking, take out your cellphones to transfer your contributions to the church account.

The holy atmosphere of the Church becomes truly electrified as ALL the cellphones, iPads, PCs, and laptops beep and flicker.

Final Blessing and Closing Announcements.

- This week's ministry cell meetings will be held on the various Facebook group pages where the usual group chatting takes place. Please log in and don't miss out.

- Thursday's Bible study will be held live on Skype at 1900hrs GMT.

- You can follow your Pastor on Twitter this weekend for counseling and prayers.

- God bless you and have a wonderful week.