As I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that at my age I don't really give a darn anymore.
... If walking
is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. ..
whale swims all
day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat.. .. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives15 years,
while a tortoise doesn't run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives
for 150 years. And you tell
me to exercise ??? I don't think so. Just grant me the
senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to remember the
ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. Now that I'm older here's what
1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of
2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and
3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling
4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
5. Funny, I
don't remember being absent-minded.
6. If all is not lost, then where
the heck is it ?
7. It was a whole lot easier to get older, than to get
8. Some days, you're the top dog; some days you're the
9. I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few
10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
in the back seat cause kids.
12. It's hard to make a comeback when you
haven't been anywhere.
13. The world only beats a path to your door when
you're in the bathroom.
14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have
put them on my knees.
15. When I'm finally holding all the right cards,
everyone wants to play chess.
16. It's not hard to meet expenses . .
17. The only difference between a rut and a grave
is the depth.
18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the
hereafter. . .I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm "here
19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
HAVE I SENT THIS MESSAGE TO YOU BEFORE..........??????