Now eight
years later, Larissa tells The Christian Post that Ian has improved on many
fronts, and their marriage is going strong.
"Ian has
done a lot better. He wasn't really walking at all at our wedding and was very
dependent on his wheelchair," Larissa said. "The first year of marriage isn't
easy at all but relationally, each year has become more
fun."
Instead of
spending her days in the waiting room or ICU of a Pittsburg hospital anxiously
to hear about Ian's brain test results or medical procedures – which she did in
2006 – Larissa says these days she manages to balance her career and marriage
the best she can; Larissa works full-time in marketing.
A major
recent development for the couple is that the pair moved into their first home
earlier this summer as they had been living with relatives since the time of his
accident, she shares.
"There
definitely were times where I thought there is probably something that is
easier, emotionally. Even after we got married, there were times where I'd
think, 'this is too hard, I can't do this.' But at the end of the day, I didn't
want to not be with Ian," Larissa says.
She adds,
"This probably sounds really cheesy but I just love him and he's my best friend.
It goes without saying that we have a belief in God that is bigger than us. I
know we're fine because God is holding us."
As if
Ian's accident was not difficult enough, tragedy struck when his father, Steve,
was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer a few years later. Although the Murphys
have experienced it all, Larissa says there are moments when she feels she
cannot get through life's obstacles.
After the
accident, we thought we wouldn't have to go through anything that hard because
living through it was crazy enough but when we found out his dad had brain
cancer, in some ways, it almost wasn't that surprising because at that point we
knew the Lord gives and takes away … I feel like I can handle the big things but
it's the small things, that's where I doubt and I don't apply the lessons that
we've learned and I don't even know why that is," she says.
Throughout
the years, she has witnessed Ian eat and talk again, though his speech is still
very limited. And earlier this summer, Ian underwent leg surgery to improve his
walking. Each milestone calls for a celebration and has made the pair
closer.
However
those happy days come with a price.
"On my
really hard days, I'm just so tired of the brain injury and I just want it gone
but there is nothing Ian or I can do within ourselves to make that happen," she
admits. "On those days, I sometimes get so angry and I'll get frustrated even
though I know there's nothing he can do."
Despite
his limitations, Ian is normal in many ways as he likes to paint, laugh with
Larissa and spend quality time with her.
"One of
the greatest gifts that he gives me as a husband is that he always wants to be
with me. We could just be sitting on the couch together and he's just the
happiest person in the world. He also always requests sweet bread, so if I make
him sweet bread, he's always happier. He's so pleasant to be with. It's harder
for him to initiate so he talks less but when he does, it's golden," Larissa
shares.
While
Larissa's role as a wife is anything but normal, she says she finds time to have
a moment to herself or to be surrounded by family as her "fun"
outlets.
"Nothing
makes me happier than being with our nieces and nephews, spending time with them
is just so fun. But sometimes I'll tell Ian that I just want an hour to either
read. But honestly, cleaning is an outlet too because its gives me something to
put back in order, it's a very controllable thing," she says.
She notes
that she and Ian would like to have children someday though she does not know
how many they would be able to manage, but they want at least one.
Since
2006, much has changed for better or worst in their lives but when she thinks
about it, Larissa says she can barely imagine what life would be like if Ian had
not been injured.
"I think
he would be a film maker at the company that he and his best friend had started
(before the accident) and we probably wouldn't be living where we are. I would
probably have a lot more energy!" she exclaims.
Now that
their love story, which garnered international attention in 2012 when John
Piper's Desiring God website featured a video of their lives, is in print,
Larissa says her hope for the future is simply to help others.
"It's
crazy how God puts impressions in our hearts. I've always journaled but when I
started writing the book and I would look back at some of my entries, I'd write
'I feel like my life is going to be very public,'" she says. "I always wanted to
write a book but I never knew what my story was."
She adds,
"We would love our story to help people in similar situations and help people
love God more by seeing Him through Ian's story. We want to keep making
sacrifices, we don't want to have a comfortable life; we want to do God's work,
whatever the cost."
The
Book Eight Twenty Eight: When Love Didn't Give Up will be released on
Aug. 28, which marks the Murphy's wedding anniversary and the anniversary of
Steve's birthday.
- christian
post
