Humorous Two-liners

Brevity is the Soul of Wit 🤗

*Fresh Two-liners with some Genuine Observations* :

🎉The difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are wanted.

🎉Alcohol is a perfect solvent:
It dissolves marriages, families and careers.

Advent 3 A: Gaudate Sunday: Rejoice

3rd Advent A from bigapostolate

 Third Sunday of Advent

The joy of the kingdom is anticipated. The signs of the kingdom already come are given to the messengers of John the Baptist, and they are familiar with the prophecy of Isaiah. Patient waiting for the fulfilment is our Christian duty. There should be no complaining, no giving up or losing heart. Joy, prayer and thanksgiving should characterise the Christian community.

Gospel Text : Matthew 11:2-11

Advent 2 A - Liturgcal Prayers

Greeting (See Second Reading)
United in mind and voice
we give glory to the God and Father
of our Lord Jesus Christ.
The Lord be with you.

Introduction by the Celebrant (Two Options)
A. Baptized With the Spirit Of Fire

On this Second Sunday of Advent we are preparing for the fuller coming of Christ in our communities and in the world. We need to be people full of the Spirit of Christ. The Savior was announced by Isaiah and John the Baptist as a man completely filled with God’s Spirit. He would baptize us with the Spirit of fire John says to us: Let this Spirit of fire change your mentality, your attitudes, your ways, so that Jesus can really live among us to make this world a place of unity and integrity, of justice and peace. Let Jesus pour out this Spirit among us here.

Advent 2 A: John the Baptist - Conversion

2nd Advent A from Jaimelito Gealan

Gospel Text: Matthew 3:1-12

Michel de Verteuil
General comments

This is a long passage with many themes worked into it. Identifying the different themes before starting your meditation will help you to enter into the passage.
Verses 1 to 5 summarise the story of John the Baptist, but even in this section there are various points being made: the fact that John preached in the wilderness; that he appeared ‘in due course’, meaning at the time fixed by God; that he was fulfilling the prophecy of Isaiah.

Advent 1 A: Stay Awake

1st Advent A from Jaimelito Gealan

ADVENT Season –2016-17

Advent has a twofold character, for it is a time of preparation for the Solemnities of Christmas, in which the First Coming of the Son of God to humanity is remembered, and likewise a time when, by remembrance of this minds and hearts are led to look forward to Christ’s Second Coming at the end’ of time. For these two reasons, Advent is a period of devout and expectant delight.

Parents Need to Give their Children "Vitamin N"

34 Sunday C: CHRIST THE KING - Liturgical Prayers

Greetings

The Father has given us a place
in the kingdom of his beloved Son.
In him we gain our freedom,
the forgiveness of our sins.
May Jesus the Lord be with you.
R/ And also with you.

Introduction by the Celebrant

A. Was I There When They Crucified My King?What a King we have! "He saved others, let him save himself," jeered the religious leaders of the people. A King, mocked, and dying on a cross for the sake of saving people. Even from the cross he told a repentant bandit, "Today you will be with me in paradise." Hanging there with his arms wide-open, he embraced the whole world in a gesture of love and reconciliation. This is the King we acclaim today in this Eucharist and in life.