Showing posts with label Humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humour. Show all posts
How to go to Heaven - Childrens' Answer
I was testing the children
in my Sunday school class
to see if they understood the concept
of getting to heaven.
I asked them, 'If I sold my house and my car,
had a big garage sale
and gave all my money
to the church,
Would that get me into Heaven?'
'NO!' the children answered.
'If I cleaned the church every day,
mowed the yard,
and kept everything neat and tidy,
would that get me into Heaven?'
Again, the answer was, 'NO!'
By now I was starting to smile.
Hey, this was fun!
'Well, then, if I was kind to animals
and gave candy
to all the children,
played with them and loved them
and loved my husband,
would that get me into Heaven?'
I asked them again.
Again, they all answered, 'NO!'
I was just bursting with pride for them..
'Well,' I continued, 'then how can I get into Heaven?'
A five-year-old boy shouted out,
'YOU GOTTA BE DEAD.'
in my Sunday school class
to see if they understood the concept
of getting to heaven.
I asked them, 'If I sold my house and my car,
had a big garage sale
and gave all my money
to the church,
Would that get me into Heaven?'
'NO!' the children answered.
'If I cleaned the church every day,
mowed the yard,
and kept everything neat and tidy,
would that get me into Heaven?'
Again, the answer was, 'NO!'
By now I was starting to smile.
Hey, this was fun!
'Well, then, if I was kind to animals
and gave candy
to all the children,
played with them and loved them
and loved my husband,
would that get me into Heaven?'
I asked them again.
Again, they all answered, 'NO!'
I was just bursting with pride for them..
'Well,' I continued, 'then how can I get into Heaven?'
A five-year-old boy shouted out,
'YOU GOTTA BE DEAD.'
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Lessons in Logic
Lessons in
Logic If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but, if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity. ......................... |
Easter Humour - Still
Humor for Easter
Nothing is certain except vat and taxes?!?
Lasting Palm Sunday
Impressions
My wife planned an activity for our two and one-half year old daughter during the week following Palm Sunday. After having her cut and paste brightly colored construction paper coats and palm branches on a picture of Jesus riding into Jerusalem, she spread coats in our hallway, and the three of us walked over them, shouting, "Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!" A couple of days later, we reminded Jamie that the following Sunday was Easter. "Do you know what that means?" her mother asked. "Yes!" Jamie chirped enthusiastically. "We're going to church, and Jesus is going to come and walk on our coats!"
cartoon courtesy of www.reverendfun.com
Nothing is certain except vat and taxes?!?
My wife planned an activity for our two and one-half year old daughter during the week following Palm Sunday. After having her cut and paste brightly colored construction paper coats and palm branches on a picture of Jesus riding into Jerusalem, she spread coats in our hallway, and the three of us walked over them, shouting, "Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!" A couple of days later, we reminded Jamie that the following Sunday was Easter. "Do you know what that means?" her mother asked. "Yes!" Jamie chirped enthusiastically. "We're going to church, and Jesus is going to come and walk on our coats!"
A Mom's Dictionary
A Mom's Dictionary
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
ADULTS: Group of people Mom longs to communicate with after several hours of talking in small words about topics like "who touched who first"
AIRPLANE: What Mom impersonates to get a 1-yr.-old to eat strained beets.
ALIEN: What Mom would suspect had invaded her house if she spotted a child- sized creature cleaning up after itself.
APPLE: Nutritious lunch time dessert which children will trade for cupcakes.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
ADULTS: Group of people Mom longs to communicate with after several hours of talking in small words about topics like "who touched who first"
AIRPLANE: What Mom impersonates to get a 1-yr.-old to eat strained beets.
ALIEN: What Mom would suspect had invaded her house if she spotted a child- sized creature cleaning up after itself.
APPLE: Nutritious lunch time dessert which children will trade for cupcakes.
Marriage - humour
They say that marriage makes a man dizzy, and it's true.
As soon as I got a wife, I lost my balance at the bank.
Men want THREE qualities in their wives: Economist in kitchen, Artist in
home & Devil in bed.
But they get an Artist in kitchen, Devil in home & Economist in Bed.
As soon as I got a wife, I lost my balance at the bank.
Men want THREE qualities in their wives: Economist in kitchen, Artist in
home & Devil in bed.
But they get an Artist in kitchen, Devil in home & Economist in Bed.
Jokes - For the Weekend
1) NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'
Cartoons
Tiago Hoisel is a mad scientist reanimating cartoon characters into living beings, or perhaps he is capturing the souls of living beings and injecting them into cartoon molds? Either way he is certainly mad! Tiago was born in 1984 and is based in Sao Paulo, Brazil.His works are known throughout the country.
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