Marriage - humour

They say that marriage makes a man dizzy, and it's true.
As soon as I got a wife, I lost my balance at the bank.

Men want THREE qualities in their wives: Economist in kitchen, Artist in
home & Devil in bed.
But they get an Artist in kitchen, Devil in home & Economist in Bed.

Father and Son Talk

As A Life's End Draws Near, A Father And Son Talk

"For me, dying — it's very enlightening and certainly rewarding," David Plant (left) tells Frank Lilley. "Look at the opportunity to talk, for example. It's just incredible."

In 2010, David Plant was diagnosed with skin cancer. The cancer has since metastasized to other parts of his body, and David is now contemplating the end of his life. So, just before his 81st birthday, he sat down with his stepson to talk about their life together.

As Frank Lilley explains, "David is my stepfather, but I certainly consider him my father."

Things to ponder

Me (in a tizzy): God, can I ask you something?
GOD: Sure.
Me: Promise you won’t get mad?
GOD: I promise.
Me (frustrated): Why did you let so much stuff happen to me today?
GOD: What do you mean?
Me: Well I woke up late,
GOD: Yes

The Donkey and Palm Sunday

THE GUY WITH THE DONKEY

There’s someone I want to get to know.

I don’t know his name or what he looks like.

I only know one thing.

He gave a donkey to Jesus on the Sunday he entered Jerusalem.

“Go to the town you can see there.

Palm Sunday B- 2012

Readings

First Reading: Isaiah 50: 4-7

Second Reading: Philippians 2: 6-11

Gospel: Mathew 21: 1-11 & 27:11-54

After Judasses Have betrayed you ....

After Judases have betrayed you what do you do?

In life you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, and you can learn that love doesn’t mean leaning and company doesn’t mean security.

 And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts and presents aren’t promises.

And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult not the grief of a child.

And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans.

After awhile you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.

 So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure…… that you really are strong

 And you really do have worth!

And so you tell the Judases, You come and go, I remain!

In faith and in perseverance and in hope!

Have a blessed Triduum!

Lent Tuesday / wk 5 / mar 27

He began to cry ....

Jesus said of his Father, "I always
do what pleases him." John 8:29

Something was wrong in Keith
Miller's life. One day he got so
depressed that he drove off to a
secluded spot and began to cry
like a little boy. He looked up at the
sky and said, "God, if there's any--
thing your want in this stinking
soul, take it!" Suddenly, it dawned
on Keith that what God wants is
your will. That realization began a transformation in his life.
Ten years later he wrote: "God
wants your will; and if you give him
your will, he'll begin to show you
life as you've never seen it before."
As he sat there he continued to
cry, only now the tears were a
release of a lifetime of being
bound to himself. A Taste of New Wine

What keeps me from giving my
will over to God as completely
as I would like to?

With God, go over the sea--
without him, don't even go over
the threshold. Russian proverb