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Showing posts with label Humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humour. Show all posts
Senior Moments: Musings - in Light Humour
As I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that at my age I don't really give a darn anymore.
How to clean the Computer Screen? Video
OMG !!! VERY EASY WAY TO CLEAN !! WOW
Did you know that every 30 days it is necessary to clean the computer screen from the inside? Many people ignore this fact and do not know how. Manufacturers take advantage of this ignorance to increase their sales. My IT guy shared this and said feel free to share with my contacts this utility. To clean the screen from the inside, just click this link:
http://www.lingdao.fr/outils/nettoyeurecran/cleanscreen.swf
New Generation
Girl: Dad, I'm in love with a boy who is far away from
me. I am in Ghana
and he lives in UK.
and he lives in UK.
HR Manager in Heaven!!!
| One
day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Manager
was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where
she was greeted by God himself. "Welcome to Heaven," said God. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you." "No problem, just let me in," said the woman. |
A.A.A.D.D.- KNOW THE SYMPTOMS! - Humor
Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.
Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:
I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
Scottish Painter at work - Humour
There was a Scottish painter named
Smokey Macgregor who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he
often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further.
The Haircut - Humour
A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of
his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car. His father said he'd make a deal with his son, "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car." |
Church Services in the not too distant Future-Humour
PASTOR: "Praise the
Lord!"
CONGREGATION:
"Hallelujah!"
PASTOR: "Can we
please turn on our tablet, PC, iPad, cellphone, and Kindle Bibles to 1 Cor
13:13. And please switch on your Bluetooth to download the sermon. You can log
on to the church Wi-fi using the password
Lord909887."
P-a-u-s-e
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How Adam Got Eve -- Women, please forgive!
Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely.
So, God asked him, 'What's wrong with you?'
So, God asked him, 'What's wrong with you?'
SARDAR IN A TOUGH QUIZ
Sardarji is in a
Quiz Contest with a prize money of Rs.1 crore.
The questions are
as follows:
1) How long was
the 100 year war?
Options : A) 116
B) 99 C) 100 D) 150
Sardar says "I
will skip this"
The Two Lions-Joke by Goa CM
Joke told
by Manohar Parrikar -CM of Goa at Pan IIT Meet in
Pune......
Two lions
escape from a zoo. One of the lions had been captured from the jungle, so he
runs back to the jungle. The other was born in the zoo itself - so is basically
a city-slicker. He vanishes into the city.
Three days
later the jungle-lion is recaptured - and returned to the zoo. A month passes,
then two, three..... but city-lion is not traceable! Finally, after six months
the city-lion is also recaptured and brought back to the zoo. Jungle-lion is
amazed to see his friend.
Jungle-lion: For God's sake, how were you able to
evade these guys for 6 whole months?!
City-lion: Kuchh nahi yaar! I just went to a
government department, and hid behind a huge pile of dusty files that they have
there.
Jungle-lion: But what did you eat
there?
City-lion: Arrey, there was an unlimited supply
of government servants. Whenever I ate one, they hired five more. Nobody did any
work anyway, so nobody missed the ones I ate.
Jungle-lion: Wow! But, then how did you get
caught?
City-lion: Galti kar gaya yaar... On the last day
I ate the chai-walla. Now, everyone missed their chai-walla & their chai!
They launched a massive hunt. And I got
caught!
An Irish Joke for the Day!
An Irishman goes
into the confessional
box
after years of being away from the Church.
He is amazed to find a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.
Then the priest comes in.
Excitedly, the Irishman begins..."Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be."
The priest replies, "Get out. You're on my side!"
He is amazed to find a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.
Then the priest comes in.
Excitedly, the Irishman begins..."Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be."
The priest replies, "Get out. You're on my side!"
Father - Son - Humour
An old man wanted to plant a tomato garden but it was difficult work as the ground was hard.
His only son, Vincent, who used to help him was in prison.
His only son, Vincent, who used to help him was in prison.
Scottish Humour
Scottish Jokes
| Jock & Jimmy were walking along a street in London. Jock looked in one of the shop windows and saw a sign that caught his eye. The sign read, "Suits £5.00 each, Shirts £2.00 each, trousers £2.50 per pair". Jock said to his pal, "Look at the prices! We could buy a whole lot of these and when we get back to Scotland we could make a fortune. |
My Doctor - in Humour
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Kids in Church
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